


we cause the end of the world

by S_Hylor



Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Civil War (Marvel), Hurt Steve, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 16:52:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3617184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S_Hylor/pseuds/S_Hylor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a time when we fought with each other, but we fought side by side more. </p>
<p>Now we fight, but we're on opposite sides, and I don't know if there is a way for the fight to end without one of us bleeding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we cause the end of the world

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to quandong_crumble and LagLemon for the read throughs and feedback. 
> 
>  
> 
> This was mostly inspired by the song I Caused Global Warming by Behind Crimson Eyes. It was what put the idea in my head and it sat there for ages without forming into anything until just recently. 
> 
> This was the end result.

You don't talk and I don't touch you.

Those are the rules. 

Rules that we need, rules that we set. 

Rules that make me long for a time before. 

A time when we fought with each other, but we fought side by side more. 

Now we fight, but we're on opposite sides, and I don't know if there is a way for the fight to end without one of us bleeding. 

I don't want to lose. I can't lose. It doesn't matter what you say, the last thing we need is this legislation. We don't need to be registered, known, out there for everyone to see.

I can't lose, but even when I want to throttle you, when I'm so angry I feel like if I just hit you it'd make everything better, I don't want it to be you that loses. Just the side you're on. 

Not you. 

Just stop being so stubborn and come back to me. 

Not like this though. 

Not with the gag between your teeth to make sure you don't say anything, so I don't have to listen to your lies and your reasoning. 

Not with my hands tied behind my back to stop me from hurting you, because I could, without even meaning to. But worse, I know I can hurt you and that I'd mean it. I'd mean every bruise and every broken bone and every bit of blood. I'd mean it. I'd regret it, but it won't change the fact that I'd mean it. 

I don't even think I'd be sorry. 

I don't want to risk it though. So my hands are bound, to avoid temptation.

We do this, because how can we not? I don't know how to stop loving you, even when I hate you. It was always you, always. You gave me a home, and even now you're tearing it down around me and leaving only rubble, I can't stop loving you. Can't stop wanting you. Can't stop needing you. 

I hate that I still need you. 

So we do this, with bound hands and gagged mouths and I try to ignore the sorrow and hurt in your eyes every time you look at me. Without your sharp words and you voicing your opinions of how you're right, it is harder to ignore the way you look at me. 

I try to forget the way that I look at you in return. 

Sometimes it's me fucking you, sometimes it's you fucking me. Sometimes it's hard and rough and even without words and without fists we want to make each other hurt. 

Sometimes it's almost like it used to be. Sometimes your hands are too gentle and your eyes are too soft and sometimes I forget myself and whisper that I love you. 

It's those times that hurt the most.


End file.
